Attalia Egerton


Leave a comment

Relationship Series: Letting Go

 

Part One:

Happily ever after…. Or not

There are many reasons why relationships become dysfunctional and just as many reasons why we choose to stay when a relationship isn’t growing any more. The ability to let go and release someone we may have once loved can be hampered by some pretty powerful letting go nowthings.

Many people stay in toxic relationships because their perception creates the illusion that there is no choice. So let’s explore some of the things that affect our perception and perceived freedom of choice.

Fear of the unknown

  • What will life be like without this person?  I know the quality of the discomfort that I am in, and I don’t trust I would be in less pain alone.  Fear inducing, no choice, therefore I must stay

Survival Fears

  • How will I ever support myself and keep myself safe and secure. When I imagine my future, the quality of my life is low.
  • Will I still have a place with my friendship group…will I still belong?  Fear inducing, no choice, therefore I must stay

Value

  • ‘I am of value when I am in a relationship. I am not of value when I am not in a relationship’ Characterised by the thought pattern ‘I always wonder what’s wrong with someone who’s broken up? People will think there’s something wrong with me. Fear inducing, no choice, therefore I must stay.

Out dated messages and conditioning

  • Relationships last forever and have to be perfect.
  • I am a failure if this relationship ends.
  • I can’t let this happen to me because it happened to my parents and I’m nothing like them.
  • I am too old to start a new relationship.

Avoidance strategies

  • I’ll shut down my heart and truth and pretend everything is fine….. especially in public.
  • It may not be great npw but it will get better I see his/her potential

Self-Judgement

  •  I am damaged, therefore I must be the problem and if I can just fix myself surely  we’ll be alright.
  • Who else could love me?
  • I will be damaging my children by letting go

Childhood patterns

  • The ‘people pleaser’ and the ‘door mat’ who gain value from pleasing and not causing a fuss staying passive to change and letting go.
  • Staying in relationships because that’s what was modeled by an authority figure.

 

When these obstacle are addressed in a person, we have the opportunity to reconnect with our authentic self. To know that our truth is not governed by untruths (like the ones listed above) and that our choices are many.

The right time to let go will be different for everyone and it may or may not be the relationship in it’s entirety that is released, but aspects of ourselves that hold us back from truly connecting. When we align our senses and access the wisdom of our inner guidance, contemplation turns to clarity rather than confusion.

 


Leave a comment

Relationship Series: Mirror, Mirror

Our relationships are a mirror for the parts of ourselves that need healing. This is one of the most powerful beliefs you can have when you wish to crmirroreate change in a relationship.

Each person we interact with provides us with direct feedback about the aspects of ourselves that need integration.  When we are triggered by our partner, mother or brother we are being gifted with the opportunity to go within and investigate through the lens of compassion how this external experience reflects our own internal experience.

My internal world was in turmoil for years. I knew on some level that to change the experience I was having in life I needed to change my energy…but this awarenss for me took some time to embody.  In the years before my separation I worked really hard to fix myself, in fact I worked on very little else a part from my relationship. I ran the belief that the feeling of perpetual discontent was a fault of my own, and if I could just fix myself we would surely experience the sense of connection and fullfillment that I craved.

The relationship I was in mirrored a number of important things about who I was at that time and showed me the parts of myself I had denied out of shame and lack of self love.

As a woman I was ashamed to have needs so I suppressed my truth. I swallowed a lifestyle that caused me so much pain and disconnection because I didn’t want to be needy or difficult…but the more I ignore the issue the more I became that. It is through everyday practice that I reclaim my birthright to have needs, to express them and honour them. Take a moment to reflect on your own needs in your relationships. What are they and are they being fullfilled?

My past relationship showed me that I was a crap communicator and the silence of our communicationrelationship mirrored my own inability to speak my truth and trust my instincts which were telling me I was safe to leave. It was through heart and throat chakra work and conscious practices that I have restored my ability to speak my truth and value what I have to say. Take a moment to reflect on your own ability to communicate, to speak your truth and listen? When was the last time you expressed your need from a place of perosnal power?

My relationship mirrored my inability to connect to and honour my emotions. I saw this as one of his major flaws, but I now know it was mine too.  It was through that relationship that I saw how I had believed emotions were a sign of weakness and at some stage I had vowed not to fully experience them, too afraid of the vulnerability expressed. It has been through surrender that I have allowed myself to open up to my emotional power and in doing this uncovered the gift of being an empath. This process of growth allows me to feel what my clients feel and deliver insights that hide beneath the surface.

What I know is this………….I had a called a relationship that helped to draw out my greatest gifts.The parts of myself that I repressed and thought were weaknesses when I embraced them and sort to develop them became my strengths. In the process of realising this and honouring all of thise that participated in the process I was able to from resentment to gratitude.

It’s easy to stay in blame for what we perceive another has done to us or is doing to us, but this prevents true growth. What I know is this………..if  we ignore and project our shit on others it keeps coming around……….the lesson keeps repeating itself. It may once come through a lover, the next time a sister or friend each time delivering the same opportunity to go within, heal the wound and grow.

For each pain point we have in our journey if we choose to be open to it there is pleasure on the otherside.

Take some time now to write down how your partner triggers you……this may or may not  be a long list! Be brave and courageous to take it a step further, out of the ego of he/she is wrong and investigate how this is a mirror for you.

xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Leave a comment

Every Problem of the Body Is Telling You Something

Whether it is physical, emotional or mental you are receiving a message that something needs to change.
 
Let’s look at some messages expressed as physical problems. So many of us struggle with back pain. Here are some insights about what emotional and spiritual aspects can be involved in these problems.
 
The Spine
In general, messages relate to support, responsibility and stability.
 
Neck- Rigidity, not able to make decisions, resisting your environment. Feeling vulnerable and out of your depth.
 
Middle back- Feeling responsible for others, blurred lines between what is your issue and what is not. Humiliations, embarrassment; feeling dominated and controlled.
 
Lower back- Financial responsibilities, others needs, burdens; feeling under pressure.
 
Living a life where we feel overly responsible for others, or we have suffered humiliation that closes us in can manifests on the physical level in generating pain and discomfort.
 
Trust that your body is always doing it’s best to maintain homeostasis and through expanding our own awareness of the messages of the body pain can be eliminated and comfort restored.
Do you or someone you love suffer from back pain? What relevance do these message have for you?
Creating change isn’t just about the physical manipulation of the body to stop pain,  but rather getting to the cause and learning from the message so that all of life improves not just your back.
Reference 
Evette Rose, Metaphysical Anatomy. 


Leave a comment

Heart Opening 

This morning I did a beautiful yin yoga session. I love the facilitator as she grounds the practice in Meridian and chakra knowledge which is what I vibe on. Activating and nourishing these energy centres has created a deeper connection with yoga for me. 

As I walked through the door I read the sign “yoga of the heart” and I tuned into my heart. I realised I hadn’t been there consciously in weeks. Arriving a little early I lay down, dropping into a deep heart opening posture. I lay for a while and felt this deep sadness well up. I could say it was unexpected but it wasn’t so I allowed the tears to flow. I wondered for a moment what other people would think, but cleared my mind and dropped back into my heart letting the gentle sobs release. 

The heart is the centre of love, compassion and forgiveness. It’s adversely affected by hate, judgement and betrayal leading to sadness. 

So if all of this sadness was welling up and spilling out how could I help myself. I had felt subtle sadness and uncertainty for a few days. DOING my best to contain and reason it away….completely uncomfortable with the feeling. 
I had reacted in ways that were not authentic and only created momentary relief. As I reflected on this my teacher said “growth comes from experiencing what is uncomfortable without reaction” staying with the body and allowing the sensations to flow through without resistance or control. I had been resisting and controlling. 

My heart expanded to these words and my mind integrated, knowing that being uncomfortable is ok and is necessary. By allowing time we give ourselves the opportunity to act authentically and  in alignment with our true self, not driven by the egos need for certainty and validation. 

The full richness of life is missed when the heart closes. Today I encourage you to experience this posture knowing it is opening and healing of the heart. Embrace the uncomfortability if it’s there. No resistance, no control just feel and trust.


Leave a comment

Mirror, Mirror

mirror mirroFor a really long time I have cognitively understood the philosophy behind mirroring.
When we experience someone or something that triggers us it is a reflection of our own stuff being shown to us. This aspect of ourselves is awaiting healing and when we get to a point where we can stop blaming another for making us feel crap or treating us like crap all will be well.The triggers fall away and the contract is complete. But no matter how much I have tried I have always found resistance to this universal perception.

That is, until now.

Last night I read three incredibly powerful pages in one of my all time favorite books. Eastern body, Western Mind, written by Anodea Judith. The essential message of these pages was that in judging others we are actually repressing an aspect of ourselves by attempting to create separation. This repressed aspect is our shadow and when we can acknowledge it and integrate this aspect within ourselves we obtain wholeness again.

frustrated faceWhen we keep rejecting parts of ourselves, hiding them and demonising them the inner separation gets bigger and bigger and we continue to attract in those that embody our rejected aspect. Often invited in as bosses, mates, lovers, neighbors, even our children.

So what does this actually look like.

Your first indicator is judgement!

Who do you judge and what specific judgement you are making.  I invite you to get real, get raw  and get honest. State how you really feel without guilt. By naming it you’re on the way to healing it.

So today I wrote a list of people I have been triggered by and who I judged recently and what I found intrigued me.

These were the things I wrote

Self promotes, attention seeking, needs public validation and opinionated.  

These words and the energy they hold are my unconscious attempt to negate the source of discomfort. When I feel into these words or behaviors I get real uncomfortable!

So I asked myself what is sooooo uncomfortable about self promotion, attention, being in the public eye and having an opinion. In asking this, you can see I consciously took the person out of it and focused on the behaviours. These give the clue about what aspects I have been repressing personally. All of these judgement relate to EXPRESSION

By shining light on these shadow aspects and honoring them in myself I concluded this.

“I inspire awareness through creative expression”

For me this makes complete sense. I am a teacher and a Kinesiologist and I am always sharing a message whether it is with my clients, friends, family…….I just share. My life purpose is about expression and I have not been honouring this part of myself. So I have judged others for doing this….why because it has triggered discomfort. So I take action to share my message as it is and will be inspiration for others. In doing this the triggers start to fall away and integration begin to occurs.

The gift in this process is we step our of blame and into personal power. When we reclaim our energy and actively integrate, peace and harmony ensue.

Another example

I have a client that is a massive doer! She is busy, busy, busy and is completely frustrated by people she perceives as lazy. Sunday mornings are full of things to do and she can become impatient and frustrated when others want their Sunday to be relaxed and slow paced.

You can imagine what she might say “I can’t stand it, these guys just want to sit around and do nothing”  “I’ve got a list as long as my arm and it’s the weekend and it’s my only chance to get stuff done”

Many of us might think this is normal…but it’s not. There is a part of her that needs integration. We know this because she is triggered, she’s in discomfort and she is judging. Three gifts that indicate something needs to change.

So who needs to change? She would say “All the lazy buggers I have to live with!” I say she does!

But what needs to change? She is a doer. So what is the polarity of a doer? Some one who is Light and shadowlazy…or who can relax. This is the part of herself that requires integration. Her ability to rest, restore and be present. To sit a read, write or relax. In acknowledging this and taking action consistently integration occurs and the triggers fall away.

Being triggered sucks, but it does give us insight into where we need to grow. Ultimately we are integrating the light and shadow aspects of ourselves.

I would love to hear from you about any insights you have had while reading this and how you work through this process.

Love

Attalia xx

 


Leave a comment

Exciting News

I have some very exciting news to share with you!! Over the last few weeks I have toyed with the idea of moving my practice from the comfort of my home space to the comfort of someone else’s space. Today I am super duper happy to share that in October I will now be consulting on a Tuesday from 10- 8pm from  Jan Juc Torquay Chiropractic and Sports Clinic………….Whoop, Whoop!!

JJ Chiro Branding

You guys know  my passion is the emotional and spiritual aspects of healing  and that these aspects of ourselves fundamentally underpin all imbalances whether physical, mental or nutritional. So I will continue to offer a service that supports you to

  • Live a conscious, empowered and present life
  • Be free from limiting beliefs and self sabotaging habits
  • Have greater emotional balance and inner peace and harmony
  • More energy, vitality and connection to life.
  • Gain clarity in life path, transitions, motivation and direction
  • Restore a deep sense of calm and trust in yourself and the world
  • Have greater confidence and enhanced self esteem
  • Trust in your own inner guidance system, be accountable and self responsible.

The super cool thing about this space is the amazing energy it has……….it’s right across the road from the beach!! My gorgeous private little room………..soon to be full of crystals, essences, oils and tonns of LOVE!!  And the many other awesome practitioners.

In one place there’s Chiropractic, Remedial Massage, Naturopathy, Chinese Medicine, Acupuncture, Osteopathy, Myotherapy, Bowen Therapy, Homeopathy………….. AND NOW KINESIOLOGY. 

All bookings from October 1st  will be taken by the clinic and can be made by calling

elephants running

03 5264 7477

You can book both in person and Skype balances

The Clinic Address is:

1 Stuart Avenue, Jan Juc, VIC 3228
Telephone 03 5264 7477
Fax 03 5264 7499
janjuctorquaychiro@bigpond.com

 

I’m so, so excited and can’t wait to serve you in the new space! This little elephant kind of communicates how excited I am!!!

 

 

 

 

 


Leave a comment

The Whole SELF HEALING Journey

Did you know The Whole SELF HEALING Journey is almost in it’s 3rd month!

Some of the feedback so far……..

“I am absolutely loving this experience, I am so centered and grounded right now. I feel so blessed to be building a toolkit to help myself”

“I love this ride! It’s been confronting at times, but stuff is shifting! I really love the videos, they’ve helped me to put the techniques you’re giving us into practice”

“The night of my Healing Grid I slept so soundly and I woke up feeling a deep sense of peace”

This opportunity will be available to those that missed out in the second half of the year so stay tuned. If you’d like information about the Whole SELF HEALING Journey email me at

attalia@wholeselfkinesiology.com.au