“I feel guilty because my husband cooked me a beautiful dinner after a long day of work and all I could focus on was what herb was missing” These are the words of a client who in contrast to her husband focuses on the small details. The difference between this husband and wife is something simple……the distance their eyes are a part. This may sound strange, but it is a physical marker that indicates a certain personality trait.
Let me introduce you to Personology.
The structure of our bodies and specifically our face can be indicative of certain traits and personality attributes. Personology is the fascinating scientific study of the relationship between the structure of the face and behaviour. With its tradition dating back to early Egyptian times two of the greatest minds of all time, both Aristotle and Socrates utilised these principles in relating to peers and students alike.
There are basic traits found primarily in the face, head and hands. Each of the physical markers have specific behaviours attached to them. The distance the eyes are a part, indicates a person’s tolerance function and the speed at which they respond. In the situation of these clients, the wifes eyes are set closer together than the husbands. When they interact the wife focuses on the specifics, whilst the husband focuses on the big picture.
Characteristic of close set eyes:
This person :
- focuses on specifics
- attaches importance to promptness
- demands adherence to schedules and deadlines
- appears to overreact to petty, unimportant events
Resulting in the wife overreacting to unimportant details and creating a big deal out of something minor.
- focuses on the big picture
- tolerates excuses and tends to be forgiving
- needs close supervision
- appears permissive, irresponsible. procrastinating
- overlooks – looks beyond what others react to swiftly
The husband focuses on the big picture. The beautiful dinner he has prepared in its entirety….roast vegetables, steamed greens and gravy. The exchange leaves him confused and feeling unappreciated.
These two clients love each other and seek to be in alignment. The awareness of this difference in how both individuals respond to the world and each other, reduces conflict and fosters appreciation. It gives each member of the relationship the opportunity to stop and assess where the other person is coming from and to modify their behaviour if necessary.
Personology is a powerful tool and understanding, enabling us to gain more self-awareness and appreciation for ourselves and others. We can tune into our learning, thinking, expressive and perceptual style, feelings and emotions, values, desires, interests and identify physical action needs.
The power of Kinesiology draws these Personology traits to the surface and allows clients to understand and appreciate the dynamic nature of the difference and similarities that exist between themselves and those they relate to. This empowers clients to make change, develop more tolerance and appreciate those that they interact with.
Please note: The expression of these tolerance and response behaviours is relative to the person you are relating to at any given time. For example with your husband or wife you may have close set eyes, but when relating to your work colleague or best friend you may have wide set eyes. The way we behave varies depending on the eyes being compared. Crazy but true!!